Don't get mad, get even
"Instead of adding to the overall footprint we are looking at the whole envelope of estate in terms of its conditionality."
If that makes no sense to you whatsoever, fear not. It was contained in a jargon-laden management diktat sent out in one of the UK's most prestigious seats of learning, and forwarded to Times Higher Education by an exasperated member of faculty.
Now, THE is calling on you to send us your examples of gobbledygook-ridden missives - be they from the desk of the vice-chancellor, or elsewhere in the upper echelons of your university's administration. We want to highlight this worrying trend before it gets out of hand.
Have you been urged to "use joined-up thinking from an end-user perspective", or "focus on the likenomics of your external image". If so, send the guilty emails our way. There is a bottle of champagne on offer for the best.
But remember, as one Russell Group university staff member told staff: "We need to be careful about positioning ourselves into messaging that comes back to bite when these data become available."
Send your examples of missive madness to firstname.lastname@example.org by 19 October. We will not publish any details of universities or individuals involved without your prior permission.